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| Tuesday, March 28, 2006 |
| Between the Victims and the cyberWar |
Economics Focus
This graph illustrates the dramatic transfer of wealth from Google to you as you participate in their affiliate program (yes, this is a joke).
Seriously though, how much money can we ever hope to make from participating in the Google AdSense thingie? These people at Explorer Destroyer don't mince their words. I dont want to be accused of plagiarism like M Vs Oyunga Pala so hereby i give all the photo and idea credit to The Explorer Destroyer.
That said, i still have a bone to pick with these "freebies" on the internet. In my place of work, i have to deal with countless incidences of Users' machines Locking Up. Its not like i dont have the latest Anti-virus, Anti-spyware or Firewall, i do. Its just that my Users are always downloading every free thing they can find on the internet. There are some extreme cases (Some of them my bosses) where they cannot bear to see the NET down, since they were chatting some babe up.
What happened to the real Free(as in beer) Internet? Where you had to look to find Totally Free software and tools? Days when true hacker websites existed and did not try to sell you their warez? These days you cannot venture into any site without attracting tracking cookies, trojan downloaders, and some other funnyfunny bugz. Shame on you who still use Internet Explorer!, because you should have figured out that you are the most vulnerable.
We have a steadily emerging group of Net-Addicts all over, and its not only the young generation (If you are reading this you know yourself), who cannot stay even one hour bila net.
So we end up collecting unnecessary information (Guess, Milo, Km, Ms K: toeni akili zenu kwenye gutter) and all of a sudden, we are calling the HelpDesk for support in getting rid of those annoying pop-ups that try to sell us more Viagra, Bigger unmentionables (Courtesy: Milo)and non-existent Holiday trips, all the while they secretly attack our machines, steal ouur information and eventually crash our servers. (Shindwe!)
Another good thing about being Kenyan is having P.O.Boxes and actual money (that you still owe to Mama Wa Mboga). Its only of late that we see the push towards Credit Cards and actual Physical Addresses (what happened to the project by the City Council? OOps i forgot... they actually make an effort of doing nothing!), i digress. Many kenyans undoubtedly would have fallen for the con-Artists' (For their ingenuity, yes, For inspiring mankind, NO.) *spits in disgust* tricks and lures. There are stories, but who's telling? Except you who read and write them, who really knows what a blog is? Yes, AJAX is also a technology, you dumb fool!(That's to my boss.)
Honestly its only an imbecile who would fall for the Next Of Kin fiasco that so rudely assaults my mail, and every other Netizen's. The Law clearly stipulates that bank transfers above a certain amount coming into your account will be tracked! Then you with your ambitions, give away ati your bank details. You need to be confined to Murungaru's Armpits for a Month!
Enough of my rantings. Maybe next time (when and if Blogger allows) i will post some pics hating on Internet Explorer.
For now:
In Firefox I remain, since for some reason or another my Opera conked out last week! |
posted by Sammie @ 5:00 PM  |
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| Between the Voice from Above and the Wooing from Below |
Is a funny i stumbled upon courtesy of Ravo's Musings, Rants and Raves
JESUS SAVES!
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on
the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was
tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to
set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I
will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They E-mailed.
They E-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets.
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports.
They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed
across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power
went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse
word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their
computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: "It's gone!
It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the
past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not
fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"
God just shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."
Two of my posts have been eaten by blogger! I will try to post more of my daily encounters messing around with the blog |
| posted by Sammie @ 10:31 AM |
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| Tuesday, March 14, 2006 |
| Between the Voices in the shadows and the Welcoming Parties |
Is an ever continous charade.
Inspired by M's Post My first thoughts about these politicians, who are abusing our intelligence: The facts speak out for thenselves:
1. The Standard Group offices are vandalized, newspapers at the press burned
2. Raila claims that there are mercenaries
3.. He then refuses to talk to the police
4. A visibly angry Police Commissioner arrives back and denies knowlege of the attack.
5. The attack is linked to the alleged mercenaries
6. Raila then "willingly" records a statement to that effect.
7. He furnishes explicit details about the alleged mercenaries including copies of their personal documents.
8. The government all the while denies these mercenary claims, BUT admit to carrying out the raids.
9. The alleged mercenaries JET back to Kenya (They left when, Mr. Raila?)
10. They "hurriedly" call a press confrence at the Govt. V.I.P Lounge
11. They then claim that they were here to collect money owed to them by Raila.
12. They also claim that they are being demonised by Raila coz of 11. above and because they "refused to grant the ODM some 3 bill. to help in toppling the govenment"
13. All along Mr Kibaki is mum about all this and other issues and is busy touring the Eldoret Show and telling the FARMERS what to do with their MILK.
Now my Question: Whose the bigger fool? Is it us, who peacefully coexist with each other every day(until a politician sets us against one another), the politicians who cannot agree even to the existance of a disagreement,
or those who are "govenment" in their reticent ways of doing things, while openly fueling controversy?
You be the judge. |
| posted by Sammie @ 2:44 PM |
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| Tuesday, March 07, 2006 |
| Between the Violence and the Whims of Small Men II |
Is a time when the bubble of self is broken by reality hitting you square on your face. The reality is as therapeutic as a kick to the groin. It sort of numbs you for a fraction, then the pain is so acute you are heft helpless, and you collapse.
This is the longest post i've written so far. Insert clap here[ ]
I was in all respects, Mugged
(There will be very strong sheng words, be warned.)
Long before this happened, i had formed my ideas of how to confront a mugger. Sort of like Milo's Drunken Master, Kung-Fu tactics, combined with ujanja wa mtaani(Street smarts). Its like you feel you are invincible, that no-one can touch you. Then you meet your nemesis, and all your ideas and plans seem to fly away, closely on the heels of confidence and courage.
Believe you me at the face of "the thing", hata kunyora utanyora ukiambiwa.
I forgot some key concepts of living in the ghetto: Primary among the forgotten rules is that:
When you dress up in the ghetto, people suddenly start to take notice.
a. The girls, who previously thought little or nothing of you as they passed you seated at the gate of your 'mbanyu' kama unauma Vako tu, now have the time to visit you and sh8t.
b. Their moms, who suddenly see a future of being called 'Mother-In-Law by you, since you are a rising star. No more of the "I have told you Wangari to stop idling with those good for nothing boys who smoke bangi all day". Nowadays its "Hi there [insert surname here].How's Mum?". Yup, all of a sudden, they are sharing cooking tips with your mum.
c. "Wasee wa Mtaa". These are the jamaas you usually bummed with at certain lean times when dough za ngale zilikosa(coins for cigarette were lacking). These are the jamaaz you grew up with, doing all the utoi together. Of course now that "umeangukia ganji kiasi", you have to part with some cash for "kenge-kenge"(street for Senator keg)or pass them ur pako of Embako (Embassy), notwithstanding that they have heavier stuff(lets not go there shall we?). You see the class system in our mtaas has never kwishad.
d. The yuppies. Referred to as "Ma-barbie" by the rest of the motely crew seated by the roadside, watching life pass by. These are the ones who get all the fly mamaz and leave you coughing and splattering in the dust raised by their zakes moti as they sped off with the lady of your dreams. All of a sudden you become a plotious guy, one of the "Crew", eti "is of how, this weekend?", and expect you to show up and stick with them as they clean their bling and give you updates on how last weekend rocked! Argh, i detest.
e. Lastly, by the part of society that we choose to ignore despite the constant reasssurances of their prescence. More commonly referred to as "wagondi", "magasidi" and others that i do not like to mention. Nowadays hata "mathegi" wana zao. Nini? "Michuma"(guns) and all of a sudden you are their ticket out of poverty. These are the retirees of the "wasee wa mtaa"........
I believe i have digressed enough.
The events that i am about to pen in here happened last evening.
This fateful day i had decided to give my recently acquired steep road suit a "Test-Run"(I agree with Milo on the smooth transition from Ngara to the CBD, admittedly am still at steep-Road). Managed to duck the evening rain and actually managed to get a mat to the last stop in the mtaa before nine pm.
On my way home, i patana with this "boy wa mtaa", a jamaa we'd played "Pa"(Blowing soda liners), gone "hunto", "swimo", "fisho" and stuff like that(Dunno what storos these kids of sikuhizi will chapa to their tois when they grow up. Camila?). Anyway, we saunter along the road together, gassing animatedly on curent affairs and sh8t. There's this fact that when walking alone in the night, all the sensory organs are fully alert, lakini when in a convesation, we fail to notice Instinct tugging at the back of our minds.
Last street to home, just before we part ways with "msee wetu", some tall-ass boyo passes us, then turns in font of us and holds the right side of his waist. He poliely introduces himself. Even under the fickle night light, it does not take rocket science to figure out that hata yeye ana yake.
More pleasantries are exchnded and we naturally kiss the grond. "Toa Pesa Zote!"
"Niko na finje tu." Yup, yours truly had a fifty bob in his pocket. Further investigation (tero) reveals another finje i'd tucked away in the dark musty corners of my wallet. I happen to have been holding on to some coins, change ya the last cigarette-of-the-day(I really should quit). Our pleasant host (is that where "hostage" was coined from? i wonder) dispenses with the rest of the contents in my pockets and wallet. Defiance is described by my holding onto, clutching on to the small change in my left hand. The phone is almost like an afterthought as he claims ownership.
A kick later, he's on the "boy wa mtaa", who only has a "ngale" and a "nare" on himself!
"Mbwa myinyi. Beste yako amengara hivo na ana mafinje tu na wewe huna any. @*## nyinyi" he drawls with the slowness of a bhang taker.
"Mi sina any" the boy wa ntaa manages to cough out as the oboho continues to expel more expletives, with his increasing rage, his well worn boots echoing his frustration at the modest collection, which by now has grown to include the ngale(cigarette) and the nare(matchbox).
Then the boyo walks away, nay, saunters off leaving specific directives threats on what we should not do after he leaves, all juiced up with some more expletives.
We are left to pick up after ourselves, all the courage, street-smarts and all returning. We stand and assess the situation(we Kenyans should get an award for perfecting the art!). Three things immediately dawn on us: (in no particular order)
1. Its a hell of a dark lane, there shoulda been kinda like a light or something
2. The fences are on both sides of the road, so there's no doing an "Exit stage Left" stunt.
3. Sisi hatuna zetu.
SO we survey the damage done, to our bodies and our confidence, while dusting for fingerprints(The mud sure takes to fingers very easily). My co-hostage victim remarks that the thug looked familiar to him. Alarm bells immediately ring. Before i can interrogate him further.......
Enter victim no. three. This guy has just been robbed of his 1/4 Kilo of mbachu(khat, miraa: a banned substance at the olympics) that he'd bakishad in the hopes of "ku-mbachuka hadi magizani"
He, obviously agitated, narrates his ordeal. Apparently, his encounter was of the whole gang. he then ostensibly reveals to us the name of one of the thugs.
His name is Wawech. Short for Waweru. A known thug, havin been arrested (and released?) multiple times, and who is known to carry a gun around. A former "Boy wa mtaa" no wonder my palo recognised him.
To Wawech. May my 3-yr old HelloMoto be a source of riches, and may you grow to head your own thug/drug syndicate GO TO HELL! You did not get everything, you dumb excuse of a human being. May u reincarnate into a bug so that i squish you! |
| posted by Sammie @ 5:26 PM |
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| Friday, March 03, 2006 |
| Between the Violence and Whims of sMall mEn |
Is a bizzare incidence that really shouldn't have happened.
Oh well.....
Press Freedom: Letter to Kibaki
Dear President Kibaki:
On March 2, 2006 government forces raided the headquarters and printing plant of the Standard Group. In addition to destroying equipment and newspapers, they shut down the KTN news station.
This latest attack follows the jailing of three journalists from Standard Newspaper, attacks on Citizen Weekly, and ongoing harassment of journalists by government-sponsored forces.
I urge you to condemn these attacks and to support freedom of the press.
Yours: Keguro |
| posted by Sammie @ 4:01 PM |
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| About Me |
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Name: Sammie
Home: Nairobi, Kenya
About Me: Definitely not your average Jack. Love God, music, challenges and fun. Not as young as i would wish but not as old as you'd expect. Ha!
See my complete profile
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