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| Thursday, May 25, 2006 |
| Between the Vista And the Windows of Old |
Is the realization that extinction is closer than we think!
I have just been checking out the specs for the New Windows Vista.
* 1 GHz 32-bit (x86) or 64-bit (x64) processor.
* 1 GB of system memory.
* A graphics processor that runs Windows Aero.
* 128 MB of graphics memory.
* 40 GB of hard drive capacity with 15 GB free space.
* DVD-ROM Drive.
* Audio output capability.
* Internet access capability.
Now, to seperate reality from the facts above:
1. Most of our machines huku cant even support a 1 gig ram.
2. The clones that akina Davetech and the rest sell to us (si u jua the cheapskates in us Kenyans) are merely modded to feel fast. (Processor overclocking 101).
3. What's a 128MB graphics card look like anyway? Most of us are content with the standard 16MB inbuilt AGP card that ships with 2. above.
4. WTF? Ati i delete my movies from my 40Gig Drive to install what?
5. What happened to the jamaa who was setting people up with internet as long as you had a landline? Ama iko Jambo?
Truly the world is moving faster than Kenyans can handle. I am reminded of the days when everything had multiple uses. Akina Tree-Top was reused to carry milk fromthe neighbour's, The numerous cans were converted to cups, and many other useful gadgets a la:
I digress:
The point is, we have at our disposal, a lot of computer hardware which in about six months, (assuming that Vista will not crash kama Longhorn) will only be as good as the tv in your house. For how long will we continue entertaining the Hand-me-down culture? (said while pulling up my "new" Hugo Boss shirt that i bought at Steep Road). From politicians to clothes, to cars, wives and girlfriends.
[Rant 1:]
Can't Microsoft and the Powers-That-Be in the computer world just create smaller software that works better? Everything else is shrinking around us, i believe. Windows 95 was a good operating system, Just that Microsoft has to mint money by selling us the "newer, better O/S", full of holes that a hacker and his camel can easily pass through! What we need is better- working software, fully patched and revving like mad. We have very big software that requires a faster machine, more disk space and more patience when it hangs!
Can't we just improve the working of the existing system to near perfection? The whole cycle of mistake after mistake in software is starting to bother me.
[Rant 2:]
Can these local companies, in the name of Corporate Social Responsibility, quit handing down their oldest computers to these rural schools, and instead form a framework of disposing computer parts? I recently visited such a school in the slums and boy, did they need help! The thing is, once one "donated" machine is down, they store it and use it to repair the others. Problem was, new software could not run! So the old things were just thrown into a heap next to the school where vagrants swung into action and made away with the components big time!
Yes, i have a big issue with Vista, now that XP has proved to be totally useless!
[Rant 3:]
Can somebody please tell Microsoft to modify their updates to delete their asses off my machine after updating it. I mean si they replace the existing files, so what are they still doing in my WINDOWS folder, jazaring my hard Disk?
[/Rant] |
posted by Sammie @ 3:07 PM  |
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| Thursday, May 11, 2006 |
| Between the GoogleVideos and the rest of the Web |
Is this alarmist caption,
Kumbe all along we are being watched and monitored.
Yet another advantage of being Kenyan:
1. Post Boxes.
I cannot imagine the kind of mail spam we would be getting if we had actual addresses. Microsoft and Co. would be raining fire on our A$$es for advantage No. 2
2. Piracy:
I recently was in dire need of some graphics software. As per kawa my friend knew a place where we could find it. In the space of a few minutes we had a whole collection of software at only a paltry Ksh 500/= Adobe will be kulaing waya videadly.
How many of us are using genuine software in our private machines?
Sisemi kitu!
Scenery at 2am, in a building near Roysambu petrol station
"Knock! Knock knock!"
S, rubbing his tired eyes with the back of his hand, mutters, "Bloody Nani huyo saa hii?" (said in the bluntest kyuk: Brarrry)
From outside, American accented Swahili replies, "Tafadheli Funguwe mulengo."
Sensing danger, he cancels his download window, closes all 13 tabs of his Mozilla Firefox browser and shuts down his computer, "Ngoja kidogo." and puts on his t-shirt while looking for sandals chini ya kitanda.
S opens the door to be greeted by blinding flashlights. He is roughly pushed in by some shades-wearing jung'z. Kawaida pleasantries are exchanged,while his dry face is gently pushed to the ground, hands are cuffed.
"Who are you people?" S asks in his most authoritative tone, while he's trying to compose himself.
He knows.
You see for the past seven months, since the discovery of this portal known as Blogspot.com, S's life has been one constant whirl. Google in conjunction with Blogspot have radically changed his view and wallet. You see, now
S IS A SOFTWARE PIRATE!
Before the blogspot revolution, S had been relying on unreliable sites such as Crackdb.org warez.org and astalavista.us for software cracks and appz. He had long since stopped downloading shareware from akina download.com, tucows.com and Jambo.
FTP had been a way of life, especially at the office where he pretends to work as a consultant, until one fateful morning when he tried to accesss ftp://219.95.16.42:8080 and got a "server has refused CONNECTION" error.
Blogspot.com came to the rescue when he happened to secure himself a land line through the "some person who knew somebody" thing. Some field work assigned to S meant that he got a year's subscription to Wananchi for his internet. As he sat on the bed, facing the computer, his days work completed, he happened to google some info on mental problems. Site number 7 on the list was Mental's site. He was hooked. Further investigation of the links revealed that he was a part of the Kenyan Blog Webring, KenyaUnlimited.
S joined the blogger revolution, and found a way to make money. You see, in kenya, I.T Books are a hard find(go to any bookshop and see the prices). S therefore headed out to the blogosphere, where viruses, trojan downloaders, spyware and rootkits are virtually non-existent to look for affordable education. Sites like giuciao became a way of life, a source of income from "Handing" out the latest Testkings and e-books.
Until that night.
"Isn't it amazing how simple this shack is?" One of the jung'z booting S' computer remarked, laughing. sarcastic pig!
The contents of the room were a sight indeed. One computer, a beat-up playstation, three cartons of cd's, and wires everywhere. Clothes, dirty utensils, pencils and pieces of paper were not the kindest of sights. Indeed,those tu-moms for "How Clean is your House" would be cartwheeling in joy, like the other tenants of S': The 'Roache's do in the wee hours of the night when the delicate hum of the computer is punctuated by the trumpets of DAP and Nero Burning software announcing the download and burning successes, in alternate order.
They were here to arrest S.
You see, Microsoft, together with the other software vendors, were wondering why all of a sudden most people who did their MCSE, CISCO, ORACLE, CompTia exams in Nairobi were suddenly scoring at 98%, why 24 and the other videos aren't making any hard sales. Therefore, together with the local detectives, under the direction of InterPol (who, incidentally, cannot even spell Kenya correctly, check url), decided to mount a raid on S' property.
The computer, once it fired (referred to as the VW henceforth), was as innocent as a kid caught with his hand in the jar. S was wishing he had an E.M.P bomb to set off at a time like this. (24 style). There was nothing S could do, as he was still staring down the Roache's homestead, his head nestled between garlic-smelling, greased cartons, courtesy of a big American Boot.
These boys knew their stuff, and it did not take long for the VW to sing.
Like a bird, It sang
Strumming my pain with its keyboard (one time, one time)
Singing my life with its files (two time, download time)
Killing me softly with its song
Killing me softly... with its cookies
Telling my whole life, with its history
Killing me softly... with its files
The VW's hard drive was ghosted chap-chap and the image file was uploaded to Interpol's site. You see, here in Kenya, these people believe that we can make anything disappear, Haki ya Mungu it's true! and with the kind of operation that S was running, a lot of big companies and colleges here would want to pay good chumz to have a route 44 back-seat woofer "inadvertently" placed on the hard disk at CID Hq's.
And they struggled with the computer and S' cartons of software, while S was busy squeezing his hands purple with the handcuffs.
And after they led him out, the constant hum of the computer could still still be heard in the silence of the night.
Sidebar
 A team of bloggers from all around the world are teaming up to create a special blog about Alaa's detention. Therefore, bloggers from all around the world are asked to link to this page using the text Egypt. (Due to the way that Google's PageRank algorithm works, a page will be ranked higher if the sites that link to that page all use consistent anchor text.)
Please create this and show your solidarity with the Egyptian cause.
Sidebar 2
There have been some tiffs up in KBW of late, as evidenced by Poi's blog and KG's. Seems that the happy family thing is irking some bloggers.
Again, Sisemi Kitu! |
| posted by Sammie @ 3:51 PM |
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| Friday, May 05, 2006 |
| Between the Will(to work) and the Vindication (of my existence) |
Sometimes i hate my job.
But i love what i do, i enjoy the experiences, from naive kids to bitchy old ladies.
I can't complain about it.
Just have to do It (ok, try). Sort of like the Office assistant:
Before i break my leg(Rooney style), or mull over some inconsequential mathematics.
Of cows and economics.
KENYAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You eat Both of Them.
You Blame the former President For Shortages.
You Ask European Union To Give Another Two Cows To Eat.
TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.
INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.
PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid,
China for military aid,
British for Warplanes,
Italy for machines,
Germany for technology,
French for submarines,
Switzerland for loans,
Russia for drugs
Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation
by the world.
AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally
that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.
FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years,
eat once a month and milk themselves.
BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
They are both mad cows.
ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
Y ou charge others for storing them.
JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are 1/10TH the size of
an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called
Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.
CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity
and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers...
See you....
In a little while. |
| posted by Sammie @ 11:19 AM |
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| About Me |
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Name: Sammie
Home: Nairobi, Kenya
About Me: Definitely not your average Jack. Love God, music, challenges and fun. Not as young as i would wish but not as old as you'd expect. Ha!
See my complete profile
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